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There’s nothing
like a good catfight to get the old blood going. Feeling a little forlorn
the other day, I decided to instigate a minor skirmish among the warring
long-distance companies.
It started with a call from Steven, an
account representative from US Sprint, which is battling AT&T and MCI
for supremacy of the telephone lines.
"Would you be interested in
cutting your long distance costs 20 percent or more?" he asked.
It’s such a trick question. Of course
I’m interested, but if I said that to every caller I’d do nothing all
day but listen to sales pitches.
This was an exception, though. I had
known Steven when he was just a little lad, many years ago. I hadn’t
heard from him in about 10 years, but he obviously got his job with Sprint
by telling them he personally knew a small business owner who would
consent to see him.
So naturally, I was obligated to make
an appointment.
He came to my office and gave me the
details of "Business Clout," the new service Sprint was selling
that would save my company.
It seemed my business would be grouped
with larger businesses, allowing for volume discounts to be passed to me
that would undercut any competitor.
"Sounds great," I said.
"Sign me up and go away."
Steven was delighted. He faxed me the
contract that same afternoon. Unfortunately, it included a detailed credit
report that needed to be completed. The priority level suddenly dropped 20
notches.
Meanwhile, Tom, an account
representative for mighty AT&T, called.
"Would you be interested in
cutting your phone costs 20 percent?" asked Tom.
"Sure," I replied. "But
I’m about to sign on with Sprint."
Let the games begin.
"Why would you do that?"
cried Tom. "No one can beat our rates and our service. Sprint doesn’t
even bill in increments. If you talk for a portion of a minute, you’re
billed for the whole minute."
"That is a blatant lie," said
Steven when I relayed the information to him. "We bill in six-second
increments just like AT&T. I don’t know why he would say that. And
we’re the most cost-effective."
Rather than wait for MCI to call me, I
called them, which was probably a first. "How do your rates compare
to AT&T and Sprint?" I asked Frank, the account representative.
Frank snorted. "Our ‘Prism Plus’
program will save you up to 35 percent from AT&T’s rates. And we’re
2 to 3 percent less than any of Sprint’s promotions."
Only one more call to make – to my
present carrier, Telenational. They’re a "re-seller" of long
distance time, meaning they buy huge blocks at a discount from the larger
carriers and re-sell it to us little guys.
"Our ‘Ultra Plan’ is, as
far as I know, the least expensive on the market," said the
representative.
What a surprise.
Someone, or rather almost everyone, was
badly misinformed (to put it gently). I called them all back and
reiterated their competitor’s comments and then sat back and listened to
the malicious retorts.
My favorite was Tom at AT&T. Told
that the little competitive pests were nipping at the mighty giant’s
heels (saying bad things), Tom arched his back and delivered a 10-minute
diatribe about AT&T’s advantages.
"Why, why, why," he
stammered, searching for a thunderous close to his oration, "AT&T
invented the telephone!!" That sold me. I signed up over the phone,
no contract or credit report needed. Telenational was out, AT&T was
in, just like that. Tom’s enthusiasm was contagious, and the lack of
paperwork was the closer.
By the next day, however, I had second
thoughts. Thoroughly confused over the multitude of plans and options, I
called all four companies and simply asked how much it would cost for a
10.2 minute call from San Francisco to Cleveland during peak hours.
Apparently, that is not a simple
question. I had to swear that I would not be eligible for quantity
discounts for calls to Cleveland (thank God) or a variety of other options
that might cut costs.
"No," I said. "Just a
plain old 10.2 minute call to Cleveland."
Answer: AT&T, $2.70; MCI, $2.60;
Telenational $2.34; Sprint, $2.20.
Reach out and switch someone.
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