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TRYING TO KEEP
THE FAMILY TOGETHER |
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We're having a bit of a crisis in what was once our
close-knit family. My wife is furious at both of the men our two daughters
stupidly chose to marry.
I'm not quite as mad as her. I'm just amazed at their
ignorance and their inability to correct their lamebrained thinking. But I
believe there's still time to salvage our relationship with them. My
wife's not so sure.
The problem? It's pretty simple. They both own Teslas.
It all came to a head at a family gathering for a
grandchild's birthday at a local park the other day. Son-in-law #1 drove
up in his Tesla Model S, oblivious to my wife's fury.
"What is he thinking?" my wife cried as he got out
of the car along with our daughter and their two children. "As soon
as they're all clear I think I'm going to torch it."
She's not much of a fan of Elon Musk, the richest man in the
world. And she's delighted to read that Tesla sales are down 13% for the
first quarter in the U.S, their largest drop in their history, and a
whopping 49% in Europe.
"Why couldn't you have brought your other car, that nice
Subaru?" she asked as they walked over to greet us. "Aren't you
embarrassed to be seen in that…..thing?"
"I bought it three years ago," he meekly responded.
"I was trying to save the climate by going electric. It's not my
fault Musk has become so controversial."
She wasn't swayed. "Everyone makes mistakes but smart
people try to correct them. You can always sell it."
"I'd lose a ton of money!" he cried. "The used
Tesla market has crashed. No one wants one, especially in Northern
California. If I sold it, we couldn't afford to send your grandchildren to
college!"
Nice try, but it didn't work. To make matters worse,
son-in-law #2 drove up in his Tesla Model S and happily got out with our
other daughter and their two children. That's when my wife broke into
tears.
"What's happened to our family?" she whimpered.
"We used to be so strong, so solid. Now we're supporting the richest
man in the world while he dismantles the federal government. I'm so
ashamed."
I patted her on the back in a feeble attempt to console her.
"We can get both of them that bumper sticker that says 'I bought this
before I knew he was such a jerk.' Will that help?"
Maybe a little. Meanwhile, son-in-law #2, who works for a
financial company, thought he could console her. "Tesla stock is down
53% from its all-time high in December. Elon's not as rich as he once
was."
It wasn't much consolation. She was still upset that her two
sons-in-law, whom she once respected, had helped Musk become the richest
man in the world.
Fortunately, before things got out of hand, one of our sons
arrived with his family. He pulled up in a brand new, all-electric
four-door Ford F-150 truck. My wife beamed with pride.
"Now we're talking," said my wife as we all walked
over to inspect our son's new ride. "Helping the environment with
all-electric and buying it before the tariffs (on imported parts) bumped
the price up a few thousand dollars. So smart!"
She looked over at her traitorous sons-in-law and shook her
head slowly. I knew what she was thinking. She really wanted to
climb behind the wheel of the Ford F-150 and ram the two Teslas parked
nearby. But it wasn't her style.
Instead, she asked our daughters to promise that their
husbands would never be allowed to drop or pick up their children at
school in their Teslas. She worried that the kids could never recover from
the humiliation.
They promised, sort of, and the party went on with no more
talk about Teslas. We left before everyone else, so we were spared the
sight of them all climbing back into the car that so many people now seem
to hate.
"Was I too hard on them?" my wife asked as we drove
away. "I just can't stand Elon Musk and those cars remind me of him.
But I know there's nothing they can do."
I understood. I didn't buy a German car for years because I
was still mad about World War II. But I eventually softened, and so would
she. Someday. |
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