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THOSE IRRITATIONS
JUST KEEP ON COMING |
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Regular readers of this column might remember my rant many
months ago about driving irritations. I had about 122 lined up, but
narrowed it down to two: runner -up was driving slow in the fast lane, and
#1 was not pulling into the intersection when turning left at a stoplight,
which means only one car can make the turn at each light change.
While I gave detailed descriptions as to why these offenders
should have their driving privileges revoked, I decided I was delinquent
in concentrating on only two irritations. There is so much more, and it's
my duty as an American to at least come up with a Top Ten list of driving
irritations.
Since I already extensively documented the Top Two, I'll
start with #3 and work my way up, depending on level of irritation. As
noted, I have about 112 more, but these will have to suffice for now.
#3: I'm in traffic on a busy street, and a car is trying to
enter from a parking lot. Being the gracious, benevolent, non-aggressive
driver that I am, I kindly give a wave and allow them to move in ahead of
me in line. While 95% of drivers will wave their appreciation, thereby
forming an everlasting bond, 5% will barge in with nary a nod of
appreciation. Ungrateful scoundrels. And very irritating.
#4: I'm stopped at a red light, and I fail to notice for a
millimeter of a second that the light has turned green. The jerk behind
me, in a sad attempt to save a split second of their precious time, pounds
on their horn, scaring the bejeezus out of me. First of all, there should
be a three second rule. Secondly, all car manufacturers should install two
horns, one with a noise for a polite reminder (ding-dong?), and the other
for life-threatening situations. Thirdly, the jerk should realize a one
second delay is not going to ruin their day.
#5: There are few things as beautiful in life as the
cooperation of drivers merging in traffic from two lanes to one. It's so
civilized to watch the symmetry of one car from one lane give way to the
car in the other lane, and then reciprocate. Fair and equal. Until one
driver shatters the illusion by moving inches away from the car in front,
insuring no one from the other lane could possibly butt in. That driver is
an embarrassment to mankind.
#6: I'm driving down the freeway at 65 mph, and the car in
front of me decides it's an opportune time to wash their windshield.
Naturally, the spray seems to land more on my windshield than theirs. Not
once, but an average of three times. Obviously clueless to the carnage
they are creating behind them, the driver goes merrily along. Not a big
one, but still irritating.
#7: Spraying water is one thing, but I still see drivers
and/or passengers throwing cigarette butts and sometimes even litter out
their window. These people should be……well, I probably shouldn't say
it.
#8: I'm in the left lane of a busy multi-lane street, stopped
behind a car at a red light. The light finally turns green and the driver
in front of me decides it's a good time to turn on their indicator to let
me know they are going to make a left turn. A half-block earlier would
have been nice. And if they don't pull into the intersection (see #1),
leaving me to wait for another green light, they should be….well, I
probably shouldn't say it.
#9: This is an obvious one, but it has to make the list. No
one likes tailgaters. Some people are just space-challenged, and might
have no clue that they're only 10 feet away from you while traveling 65
mph in the middle lane of a freeway. When they finally pass you, oblivious
to your hand signals to back off, and maybe even a slight tap of the
brakes, they don't even glance your way. They just move on to the next
inevitable accident.
#10: Driving irritations aren't always about other drivers.
Pedestrians can make the list, too. While it's state law to allow
pedestrians to cross in marked crosswalks, there should also be a law
requiring them to move at a respectable pace. There's something irritating
about coming to a screeching halt to let a pedestrian cross and then
watching as they move at a snail's pace. A gracious giddy-up would be
nice.
Okay, that's the Top Ten for now, subject to change,
depending on what happens on my drive home.
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