|
| |
|
DOGS AREN'T WHAT
THEY USED TO BE |
|
We have a serious problem in this country. Perhaps there are
more vexing issues than the one I will be addressing today, but in the
interest of discussing something, anything, other than current issues, I'm
going with it.
The problem, in a nutshell, is that dogs don't come anymore
when you call them.
I have taken to branding them Millennial Dogs. Dogs of today
have developed an attitude, and I'm not happy about it. They have a sense
of entitlement that didn't exist in the generation of dogs that I grew up
with.
To definitively prove my theory, I will give three examples,
all of them different breeds and different histories.
Before I begin, let me make it clear that I did not train
these three dogs, although I care for them often. They are my granddogs,
owned by my children. Some might argue that they were poorly trained,
which sparks my argument that no one should be able to own a dog until
they're 35, especially Millennials. But that's another theory for another
day.
First up is Obie, my son's German Shepherd. That's right,
German Shepherd. Police dog, search and rescue dog, heroic Rin Tin Tin
dog. Surely Obie would come when called. German Shepherds were bred to
obey.
Obie has moved on. Apparently, the German Shepherds of
yesteryear were mindless dolts, catering to their master's whims. The look
on Obie's face when you yell "Come" is priceless. He stares
right at you, motionless, and you can see him saying, "What's in it
for me? "
I have two choices. I can walk over to him and grab his
collar, which gives him great pleasure because he knows he's victorious,
or I can yell the only word that will make him get off his Millennial
butt: "TREAT!"
Either way he gets what he wants, and I'm left wondering when
dogs turned into cats. I swear my dogs always came when called, except our
last dog, Lucy the pug, who really was half cat.
Next example is Pico the mutt, my daughter's dog who was
rescued off the streets of Tijuana. Naturally skittish, you would think he
would be forever grateful to have a happy home and food in the bowl every
night and morning. And he is, unless you ask him to come.
Pico doesn't even look at you when you call him. I've tried
Spanish, I've tried English, I've tried hand signals. You want him, you'd
better yell "Treat" and hope you have one handy. If you don't,
Pico will not be happy.
Last up is Cheddar, my other daughter's dog who is a purebred
doodle something or other that cost a fortune. While Obie is regal and
Pico is street smart, Cheddar is a certified doofus. But he's still a
puppy, so that makes sense. What doesn't make sense is that they paid to
send him to puppy school, and he learned absolutely nothing.
Like the others, he has zero interest in coming when called.
The only chance is yelling, "TREAT," and hope he remembers
that's a good thing. If not, the chase is on.
What happened to this generation of dogs? Maybe my memory of the
past is distorted, but I swear dogs were far more obedient than they are
today. I know my dogs were, from Genghis Khan the Lhasa Apso (long story)
to Ralph the mutt to Murphy the Golden Labrador ---they all came when
called, and I didn't have to offer a reward for them to obey me.
Not today. Millennial dogs have no interest in catering to
their masters. I know there are exceptions, as always. I'm sure there are
dogs out there who have been trained by experts, and who didn't miserably
fail the class like Cheddar. But from what I've seen, they are the
exception.
Lassie and Rin Tin Tin are relics of the past. Canine
obedience no longer carries the day. If Little Timmy found himself trapped
in the bottom of a well, as so often happened in the TV series, the
Millennial Lassie would have quite a different take.
"Get help, girl," Timmy would plead. "Go,
Lassie, go."
Lassie would stare down into the well, and not even bark. But
the viewer would clearly know what she was thinking: "Got any
bacon?"
|
|
|
