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ALTERING THE DICTIONARY
ONE WORD AT A TIME
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The pandemic has changed all of us, and sometimes the changes
are not so obvious. For instance, little things like the English language
can be a problem. With that in mind, I'd like to report that I've discovered
a word that I am learning to really dislike.
I've had enough of "but."
I've never felt this way before. Like everyone else, I use the
word "but" all the time. I'll probably use it somewhere in this
column, and feel comfortable doing so. It's not always a bad word. In fact,
quite often it comes in very handy. But (there it is) the pandemic has
changed everything.
I now cringe when I hear it or read it. It's always the same.
Some doctor or politician will be talking about the good things happening.
Vaccine supply increasing, cases dropping, hospitalizations and deaths
plummeting. I'm starting to feel good about things.
Then the "but" comes raging into the conversation.
There's always a "but."
On Monday, the head of Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention (CDC) followed the script. "We have so much to look forward
to," she said. "So much promise and potential of where we are and
so much reason for hope."
What lovely thoughts. Then it came, as it always seems to do
these days. "But right now I'm scared."
That damn "but." Sure enough, she went on to issue a
dire warning of "impending doom." The "but" was the
instigator. The "but" was the forecast. It was all downhill from
there.
That's why I don't like hearing that word anymore. I now call
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the esteemed infectious disease expert, "King of the
Buts." He is ubiquitous on the news, and always attempts to reassure
Americans that we're heading in the right direction. Then comes the
"but."
"We have a good chance to reach herd immunity by the
Fall," he will say to my delight, "BUT we'll still have to wear
masks into 2022."
"BUT the variants are coming, and this is no time to
relax. BUT we live in a global community and the rest of the world needs to
be vaccinated to control the virus. BUT we don't want to get too confident.
BUT we need to stay vigilant. BUT there could be another surge."
But, but, but. I get it. We do have to stay vigilant. We do
have to be careful. We do have to listen to the experts. I just long for the
day when there will be no more buts.
Maybe it's unfair to malign the word. There's plenty of
instances where "but" works in our favor. "She has cancer,
but the prognosis is excellent." Now that's a welcome "but."
They're just too few and far between these days when it comes to reporting
on the pandemic.
Unfortunately, I don't think "but" is going to go
away anytime soon. Every doctor, every expert, every politician has to couch
their optimism with qualifiers, and "but" is the word of choice.
It would be nice, though, if we could come up with something
else. "But" isn't exactly the prettiest word in the English
language. In French, it's "mais," in Spanish it's "pero."
Nice sounding words. Perhaps that helps the French and Spanish people in
dealing with their experts.
Our "but" is far inferior. Add an extra "t"
and it becomes even less attractive. It's time to come up with a word that
will replace "but" and help us deal with the downer declarations
that always follow the expert's optimism.
How about "bazooka?" I could live with that.
"The pandemic is over," Dr. Fauci will announce. "Bazooka we
still must wear our masks."
Less harsh, with a little singsong aspect to it. No more
cringing in anticipation of negative declarations. "Bazooka" is so
much better than "but." I'll wear the mask either way, bazooka
I'll be far less grumpy about it.
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