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A FUTURE UNLIKE
ANY OTHER |
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Scene: A living room in February, 2037, 12 years from now.
Miraculously, I'm still alive, and I have two of my 17 grandchildren (kids
have been busy) at my feet as our wood burning fireplace roars
("Spare the Air" days are long gone). Little Freddy is 12 and
Little Esmeralda is 10.
Little Freddy: Grandpa, tell us again about the old days. I
love yucky stories.
Me: (tousling Little Freddy's hair) It was certainly
different, Little Freddy. Times have changed quite a bit.
Little Esmeralda: Why has it changed, Grandpa? President
Trump has always been President, hasn't he?
Me: Not always, Essy, not always. There was a time when some
rotten people cheated President Trump and he had to step aside for four
whole disastrous years. But he came back stronger than ever and we've
prospered ever since.
Little Freddy: How long has he been President?
Me: Let's see.....about 12 years this time. But he's only 90
years old. And if, God forbid, something happened to him we always have
Don Jr. ready to step in.
Little Freddy: Phew! (raising his fist) Long live the
Trumps!
Me: (chuckling at his enthusiasm) Yessiree, he sure has been
good for us rich, white males.
Little Esmeralda: What about me?
Little Freddy: You're just a stupid girl. You don't count.
Me: Now Freddy, don't be rude. Women have a place in our
world. We wouldn't be able to procreate like Prince Elon wants us to
without women.
Little Esmeralda: Didn't a woman once try to beat President
Trump?
Me: (laughing along with Little Freddy) Not once, but
twice! The last one lost in a landslide, and hasn't been heard from since.
President Trump has shown women where they belong.
Little Freddy: Yeah, along with everyone else who
isn't white, rich and American!
Me: That's right, Little Freddy. You were born the right
way. The world is your oyster, thanks to President Trump.
Little Esmeralda: (starting to cry) you guys are creeps. I
just want to go outside and play.
Me: You know it's not safe, Essy. We have to wait until the
rains come and we get some clean air.
Little Freddy: Do you think we'll ever get to go to a
restaurant again, Grandpa?
Me: (sighing) Maybe someday, if women can procreate more. We
just need more American workers willing to work in hot kitchens.
Little Esmeralda: Where did they all go?
Me: President Trump got rid of them all, because they
weren't Americans like us. That's also why most people don't have any
fresh produce or wine or a lot of other things. But luckily we're rich and
white and can ship those things in from other countries.
Little Freddy: I'm sure glad I'm rich and white.
Me: Oh, Little Freddy, you still have to work hard to become
rich, even if you're white. There's a lot of people out there who are
still poor. But thanks to President Trump, your chances of becoming rich
are a lot better than most.
Little Esmerada: What about me? Can I get rich?
Me: Sure, Essy. You're just going to have to work extra
hard, like your brown-skinned friends.
Little Esmeralda: (sulking) I wish I were a man.
Little Freddy: Eww!! What are you, one of those weirdos who
want to change their sex? I thought we killed all those people.
Me: Not yet, Little Freddy, not yet. But President Trump is
working on it.
Little Esmeralda: Grandpa, is life today really better than
it was in the old days?
Me: Of course, Little Essy. We can do whatever we want and
we hardly pay any taxes anymore. The government doesn't bother us with
restrictions and we don't have illegal immigrants raping and murdering us.
What's not to like?
Little Freddy: (giving Little Esmeralda a shove) Yeah,
stupid. It's the best, thanks to President Trump. White Guys Rule!
Me: Remember to be humble, Little Freddy. We need women and
brown-skinned people. We can't do it all alone.
Little Esmeralda: Yeah! You need us!
Little Freddy: No we don't. Grandpa, can we just do an
"Executive Order" and eliminate her?
Me: Not yet, Little Freddy. Not yet. |
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