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A FIELD TRIP
LIKE NO OTHER |
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I dropped my little
boy off for his first day at his new school last week. And by gosh, wouldn’t
you know it, he was already off on a field trip, even though it was only
the first day.
I remember
field trips. They were so exciting! A morning at the zoo, or an afternoon
at the Planetarium---what fun we would have!
But that was
then and this is now. My little boy was going on a field trip to 11
different countries, including Brazil, Ghana, South Africa, India,
Vietnam, China and Japan, all while living aboard a ship while cruising
around the world.
It’s not
fair.
I actually
dropped him off in The Bahamas, where he waved from the fifth deck as his
ship, the M.V. Explorer, embarked from Nassau. It felt nothing like the
first day of Kindergarten, especially when some brother of another student
yelled from the dock, "DON’T RUN OUT OF CONDOMS!"
This was
Semester at Sea, where 600 students, 400 of whom are female, circle the
globe and receive 15 units of credit. It is one of the great college
experiences ever imagined, and I am eternally pissed that I never knew
about it when I was in college.
It’s been
around since 1963, and there is a Spring and Fall sailing. I was available
for both, but my parents either didn’t know about it, or knew about it
and got a good laugh over the thought of spending their hard-earned money
to send their little boy around the world.
I
might have said the same thing to my little boy, but I was already
spending my hard-earned money to get him through college at the University
of San Diego. And it so happened that a semester’s tuition plus room and
board at a private college is almost exactly the same as the tuition and
room and board for Semester at Sea.
"Take
me with you," I pleaded when he pointed out the financial logic and I
realized it would be not wise to say no. "Think of the fun we’ll
have together."
When he
threatened to call the District Attorney and report my desires, I knew I
was out. And after he explained that the ship’s final port of call was
San Diego, thereby saving on additional airfare to get home, the deal was
set. He was going, and I had to be content with being excited for him.
And I am. My
oldest daughter, using the exact same financial arguments, spent the
Spring semester of her Junior year on Semester at Sea. This was nine years
ago, and she still raves about the experience. She made lifelong friends,
changed her career choice from business to teaching, and developed a love
for travel that continues to bankrupt her to this day.
She also
travelled around the world on a ship worthy of 600 college students. It
was a dump, aged and decrepit, perfect for a carousing group of crazy
kids. Unfortunately, it almost sank off the Aleutian Islands a few years
ago, so apparently someone decided it was best to upgrade.
I didn’t
know this when the parents who travelled to Nassau were invited for a
pre-sailing tour of the party boat where my little boy would be spending
the next 106 days. When I heard they had a new ship, I expected a bigger,
more stable dump. I was wrong.
"I’m
putting my foot down," I told my little boy after I toured the M.V.
Explorer. "I am not paying for any spa treatments for you."
Maybe he
figured with a 2-1 ratio of females to males, he would get plenty of free
massages. For whatever reason, he wasn’t disappointed there would be no
spa allowance. Besides, he also had free use of the basketball court,
swimming pool, humongous weight room and aerobic equipment, and outside
bars.
The ship was
ridiculously luxurious. It made no sense to waste it on a motley group of
stupid students. I decided to give it one last good old college try.
I did a
little research, and found they have a program for "lifelong
learners," where a small group of older people can join the cruise
and sit in on some of the classes.
Sounds like
a bunch of perverts to me. I’m thinking Spring 2014. |
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