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NOTHING TO DO BUT
WATCH AND OBSERVE
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My oldest daughter just gave birth to our second granddaughter,
and it has prompted me to make several observations about the process, which
is what columnists are supposed to do.
Observation #1: Giving birth is far less traumatic for
everyone when you make an appointment.
Explanation#1: Since our first granddaughter stubbornly
refused to enter the world in a timely and orderly manner, an emergency
Caesarian delivery was performed. The whole episode lasted an eternity and
caused a certain grandfather to become a delirious, anxiety-ridden wreck.
Because the first birth was a C-section, the option is given to
have the second birth a C-section, which means you can make an appointment
near the due date and have a quiet, hopefully non-eventful birth. 9:00 on a
Friday was chosen, and a certain grandfather was delighted.
Observation #2: Older siblings are smarter than you
think.
Explanation #2: Our first granddaughter, who is
now 20 months old, loves her grandmother and has totally ignored her
grandfather since the day she was born. This might be because I called
babies "blobs" in a previous column. Who knows? However, on the
day her little sister was born, the 20 month old coincidentally warmed up to
me. She let me read a book to her for the first time, and even let me hold
her for a few minutes before scrambling back to my wife.
Obviously, she sensed some competition with a new kid on the block
and felt the need to branch out and make new friends. Smart kid.
Observation #3: Meeting a new member of your family is
not always a tender, loving moment.
Explanation #3: I wasn't there, but I saw the video, and
it was hilarious. When my wife brought the 20 month old to the hospital to
meet her new baby sister, no one knew what to expect. The 20 month old
climbed into her mother's lap and nestled in. Then my son-in-law brought the
baby over for their first meet and greet. Luckily, the 20 month old's kick
missed the target. But you could almost hear her saying (if she had
developed the vocabulary), "Get that thing away from me."
She was not quite ready to share the Mama. But it's been a
couple of weeks now, and she has definitely warmed up. It took her 20 months
to warm up to me, so I think the baby sister is pretty fortunate.
Observation #4: Parents of newborns can have very
different attitudes about visitors.
Explanation #4: Two days after my daughter gave birth,
my niece had a baby girl. Naturally, they were both accepting visitors and
were eager to show off the new additions to the world. One was just a little
more cautious than the other.
"Have you had your flu shot and whooping cough
vaccine?" my niece asked as I entered her hospital room to welcome my
little grand-niece (or whatever they're called---I could never figure that
out).
Luckily, I had both, so I was allowed to enter. My niece's
mother-in-law, who had just been sanitized, was holding the baby in a corner
of the room. I took a peek, but didn't dare ask to hold her, for two
reasons: One, I don't like holding little babies, and Two, I would have been
even more petrified under the watchful eyes of my niece.
Then there is the opposite approach, as evidenced by my
daughter and son-in-law. Their hospital room was a revolving door of
visitors, no questions asked. I got the feeling you could tell them you had
pneumonia, and they'd still welcome you in with open arms.
Obviously, I'm exaggerating, but the difference in attitudes
was interesting to see. My niece was having her first baby, and my daughter
was having her second, and that definitely plays a part. There's always an
added level of anxiety with the first addition.
And I'm certainly not suggesting one way is better than the
other. There's nothing wrong with an abundance of caution, and there's
nothing wrong with a more casual approach. Everyone has their own style of
parenting.
I'm just making observations, and fortunately I'm done before I
get into any more trouble. I suppose I should just be glad the 20 month old
can't read yet, or our newfound friendship might be stretched a little thin.
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