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THERE'S A REASON
IT'S CALLED "FOREIGN" |
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Not one to miss a current rage, I announced to my wife a few
months ago that we were moving to Portugal.
"Excuse me?" she responded. "Do I have a say
in this?"
I politely answered that she could indeed offer her opinion.
But then I explained that it's a very cool thing these days to threaten to
move away from San Francisco and out of California because of high taxes,
rampant crime and homelessness.
"Besides, if things don't go well in the 2024
election," I added, "Portugal could be the place to be."
That caught her attention. She has such a distaste for one of
the presidential contenders that she would consider moving to Antarctica
to get away from him.
"Okay, let's check it out," she said.
"Everybody says Lisbon is just like San Francisco. Maybe it will feel
like home."
I secretly knew she just wanted an excuse to go to Europe now
that the pandemic was in the rear view mirror, but I didn't let on. I
began making plans to inspect our possible new home and naturally let
friends and family know that we'd miss them once we became Portuguese.
Over 10,000 U.S. citizens now live in Portugal, a 239%
increase from 2017. Gaining permanent residency is fairly simple, as long
as you make an investment in the country. Citizenship is all yours after
five years.
A wonderful climate, virtually no crime, few homeless,
excellent public transit, low cost of living and welcoming people---what's
not to like? I couldn't wait to see our future home.
We left a couple of weeks ago on a nonstop Air Portugal
flight from San Francisco to Lisbon. After flying all night, we arrived
bleary-eyed the next day and checked into our five-star hotel along the
waterfront in Lisbon. I mention five stars because it was only $120 per
night. Gotta love this place!
And I did, until I saw the room. Apparently, five stars in
Lisbon doesn't mean five stars in the United States. But the price was
right, so we fought off the jet lag and began investigating our new
country.
Lisbon is known as the sister city of San Francisco, although
the designation isn't official. It has hills, it has trolleys that look
like our cable cars, and it has a suspension bridge that is almost
identical to our Golden Gate Bridge. Opened in 1966, it was clearly a
copycat design.
We toured Lisbon for a few days, and then headed south for a
few more days in the countryside. There were some lovely beaches, nice
golf courses, wonderful seaside restaurants and ideal weather. But in the
interest of full disclosure, I feel the need to list some negatives:
1. They speak Portuguese, not English.
2. They use meters, not yards on the golf course.
3. They use kilograms, not pounds.
4. They use different plugs in their electrical
outlets.
5. They eat octopus.
I mentioned all these negatives to my wife and she quickly
labeled me an Ugly American. I resented that moniker.
"I'm just pointing out that I feel a little out of place
in Portugal," I said. "Why does everything have to be so
different?"
"That's why they call it a foreign country," she
kindly explained. "It's supposed to be different. And besides, you
like octopus."
"Not after I watched that documentary about how smart
and sensitive they are. And if we're going to move to a foreign country,
I'd appreciate it if it was more like home."
She just rolled her eyes, as she is prone to do. Meanwhile, I
let her know moving to Portugal was probably not going to happen. She
wasn't surprised.
We came back last weekend. After an 11 hour flight, we got in
the car at SFO and headed for home, which happened to require crossing the
Golden Gate Bridge.
It was a beautiful day. The Blue Angels were flying, the bay
was glistening with hundreds if not thousands of boats dotting the
magnificent waters. The bridge rose majestically in its natural setting,
making the Lisbon bridge look like a poor imitation.
Home. There's no place like home, even with its faults.
Because there was one more negative I didn't mention about Portugal: no
family or friends.
I don't know about you, but we're not going anywhere. |
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