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Please, make me an offer

   I have a recurring dream. Unsolicited job and business offers are pouring in from everywhere. Each day brings a new flood of mail and phone calls requesting my services.
  "I appreciate your interest," I reply to each and everyone, "but I’m very happy doing what I’m doing."
   But they won’t go away. They want me, badly, and they’ll do anything to get me. The money and perks they offer are doubled, then tripled, on the spot. I tell them no.
   It becomes a frenzy. Others hear about it and join the bidding. No, no, no, I tell them. I don’t like to fly, so why would I want a private jet? $6 million a year in salary? Very generous, but no thanks.
   The phones ring louder, the mail piles higher, and just as I am about to be smothered by a wild band of business executives shoving contracts down my throat, I wake up.
   And darn it if I don’t have a smile on my face.
   A quick analysis of this dream would unfortunately show that I am fraught with insecurities, that I am begging for acceptance, that I hunger for approval.
  Hogwash, I say. All I want is someone, just once before I die, to come out of the blue and offer me a job or a no-risk business opportunity with no strings attached.
   I know this happens to people. The papers are full of movie stars, athletes or top business executives turning down offers left and right for a variety of reasons. It’s not right for their image or they want to spend more time with their family or they want to think about it for a year or two.
   I want to turn down an offer, too, but no one has ever given me a chance.
   My point, of course, is that there are a very select few who are in demand. The rest of us schmucks have to scrounge for everything we get.
   There are other exceptions besides the rich and famous. As a business owner, I have the opportunity to hire quite a few people who apply, but occasionally I hear of someone, or know someone, that I think would be perfect for the position.
   So, out of the blue, I call and offer them an exciting employment opportunity. And every time I do it, and it’s not often, I wonder why no one has ever done the same for me.
   I have begged and pleaded for every job I’ve ever had. I have had to scrounge to find investors for every business I’ve ever owned. No one has ever come to me coveting my talents and services, whatever they might be.
   For most people, that’s the way of the world. There are no free rides. To be sold, you have to do your own selling. Wait around for someone to come to you and you’re likely to wait forever.
   It’s a simple lesson, but one I fortunately learned long ago. If you want to hear the phone ring, make phone calls. If you want to receive mail, write letters.
  And it you want a job or a promotion, you do the offering.
   When you get to the point of complete job satisfaction, then you can sit back and wait for the unsolicited offers to pour in.
  I would like to announce to the world that I am now at that point. So go ahead, let the offers roll.
  Considering that I have not, to my knowledge, entertained one unsolicited offer in my 20 years of employability, I feel I’m ready to handle the boost to my ego. (In fact, now that I think about it, I never even got drafted.)
   I am now completely prepared to entertain offers. Remember, I have complete job satisfaction so it’s highly unlikely I’ll even consider the income and perks with which you’ll want to shower me. That should make it easier for you to up the ante.
   Those of you who do not have complete job satisfaction should continue to aggressively pursue your goals, as I once did (before I achieved complete job satisfaction).
    Doing so requires networking and sales skills. If I didn’t have complete job satisfaction (CJS), I’d be out there selling myself, letting people know that I am available for change, for improvement, for more income.
   Fortunately, I don’t have to do that anymore. With CJS, I am stress free, knowing there is no way anyone could come up with an offer that would entice me to change my life.
   Unless, of course, it was something really spectacular.
   Or something legitimate. Or something.

 

 

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