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How to say no to consultants |
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In my
continuing effort to appear to be a busy executive, I rarely will see
anyone without an appointment. Occasionally, however, the receptionist
will announce someone with a company name that tweaks my curiosity, and if
I’ve had my morning nap and there’s a commercial break on
"Jeopardy," I’ll consent to see them
So it was last month.
Christopher and Elizabeth, impeccably
dressed as professionals, entered my office. They each handed me a
business card and perhaps they noticed the look of horror on my face as I
realized why their company name sounded familiar.
"You’re management
consultants," I said as nonchalantly as possible. "And from one
of the largest firms.
"That’s right," beamed Christopher. "Thanks
for seeing us without an appointment."
"My pleasure. I’m not
interested."
Christopher pounced on this opening.
"Do you think your company is operating at maximum efficiency and
that your profit levels are as high as they can possibly be?"
I hate that. Of course not. But I’m
not going to admit that to any bozo off the street. "Yes," I
said, but obviously not with enough conviction.
It was Elizabeth’s turn. "Let
one of our top analysts do an in-depth survey of your business,
pinpointing problem areas. No obligation to continue with our consulting
services once the survey is completed."
They were not deterred. I told them
there was no way I’d take the next step and pay for consulting services
to implement the improvements the analyst would undoubtedly recommend.
They said it didn’t matter, just let them do the survey.
After saying no 30 times, I got
intrigued. I also got them out of my office by saying yes
Their "top" analyst, Lawrence, arrived the next
morning, having just finished a job in Denver. We shook hands and he
wasted no more time, immediately grilling me on every aspect of my
business
After hours and hours in intense discussions with Lawrence
over three days, I had to admit the $350 was very well spent. With his
questions, he had highlighted some problem areas that might have sat
dormant for another 10 years without correction
"Thank you very much, Lawrence," I said. "You’ve
been a big help. We’ll get working on some of your suggestions
immediately"
That wasn’t what he had in mind.
Lawrence ripped off his analyst’s mask and behind it revealed something
I hadn’t seen in three days from him . . .the salesman’s smile.
I tried to remain calm.
"What do you want from me?"
"I want our consultants to
implement these changes for you," he replied.
"How much?" I asked. Here we
go again.
"Approximately $34,000. But if you’re
not satisfied with our work at any time, just tell us to go home and the
billing stops."
After Lawrence finished his 150-minute
speech as to why I’d be an incompetent fool (I’m paraphrasing) if I
tried to implement the changes myself, I reluctantly agreed to consider
retaining his company to draft the initial plan, which would cost about
$6000. I told him to call me the following week and I’d give him an
answer.
"No," he said. "If you
can’t make a decision right now then we close the book on you. We won’t
call."
I couldn’t make a decision. He left.
And he was right. The closest I ever came to retaining them were those few
minutes in my office. After that, the momentum was lost.
They called anyway, a few weeks later.
It was a member of the Executive committee. He said they weren’t
satisfied with the analysis Lawrence had done and wanted to know if
another analyst could be sent out, at no charge.
I was tempted, but I had bled them
enough. Instead, I showed him (at no charge) how his company could save a
quick $2,300.
Now that’s consulting.
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