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A CAREER IS OUT
THERE SOMEWHERE
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My 21 year old son called the other day from San
Diego, and gave me some news that had me bubbling with parental pride.
"I won the goldfish racing tournament at the
local bar," he crowed. "There were 32 competitors, and I whupped
them all."
"That’s my boy!" I cried, wiping away a tear,
"What did you win?"
"$80 in bar credits, and I didn’t even use them
all. I saved some for next week."
My little boy was making money. He had demolished 31
other wanna-be goldfish racing champions and even had money, or at least bar
credits, in the bank. I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm.
"Can you make a career out of this talent?" I
asked. "Is there a goldfish racing circuit you can join?"
"I’m checking," he replied. "I’ve
definitely got a technique that could be dominant for years to come."
Apparently, you drop your goldfish into a 12’ long tank
and then blow through a straw at the goldfish’s butt to get him to the
finish line before the competitor. Whatever technique my son developed, and
I didn’t want to ask, worked.
That’s good, because goldfish racing might be his best
bet. He’s a senior in college, majoring in business, and the job market is
looking a little bleak these days for college graduates.
A good internship would help his chances, and he had a
great interview with UBS/PaineWebber, a financial services firm. Everything
was going well, he reported, until they asked him why he wanted to be a
financial advisor.
He gave a couple of solid reasons, and then added,
"Also, the market closes at 1:00 and I can hit the links."
The three suited executives interviewing him didn’t
even smile. He told them he was just joking, and they still didn’t smile.
"I didn’t want that job, anyway," he told me later.
Besides, now he has his goldfish racing career to fall
back on. And he has another year of college before he has to really hit the
pavement. My other son, who is 22, graduated this summer, and time has run
out.
Fortunately for him, by some sick twist of genealogical
fate, he was blessed as the only member of the family with some math skills
and managed to graduate with a degree in mechanical engineering. In other
words, he actually has a chance of landing a well-paying job.
"I’ve applied to Callaway, Titleist, Taylor Made
and Ping so far," he announced after his first week of searching.
"I plan on designing the next generation of golf clubs."
"That’s nice," I replied. "Do they
happen to have any openings for engineers with absolutely zero
experience?"
"You never know unless you ask," he said, and I
couldn’t argue with him. In fact, I admired his initiative until he told
me he also wanted to design cars.
"You know you’ll have to move to Detroit."
That squelched that idea. And after he got no
response from the golf club companies, he reluctantly lowered his
expectations. By the second week of looking for a job, he was applying to
companies that were actually SEEKING entry-level engineers.
As of this week, he had an interview with Nokia’s cell
phone division, a solar turbine company (whatever that is) and a green
building certification company. He felt confident he would get offers from
all three, thereby creating a bidding war for his services.
Not likely, but eventually he’ll find something in the
engineering field. I went to his graduation and watched the 22 engineering
graduates receive their diplomas. Then the 700 or so business school
graduates stood up and marched across the stage. As I mentioned, I’m no
math whiz, but it wasn’t hard to figure who had a better chance of landing
a job in their chosen field.
When my younger son graduates next year, he’ll be
one of another 700 from the business school of his class. Where they’ll
all find jobs is a mystery to me. The competition will be fierce, and it
will come down to the best resume, and who shines during interviews.
I figure he’s got a good shot. Few resumes will include
"Goldfish Racing Champion" as part of the package, and he’s
bound to find a company, someday, somewhere, who will appreciate his jokes.
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