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Like most wars, it
started slowly and then escalated. I was simply approving some invoices
and noticed for the 46th time that we were paying $20 per month
to rent an employee drinking fountain. But this time I made a note to ask
someone why. No big deal.
At the next staff meeting I
casually asked Ms. Ferguson, my loyal office manager, to check into
purchasing the water fountain. That was all.
Little did I know the Great Water
War had begun.
It turned out the drinking
fountain could not be purchased, only rented. No one seems to know why. So
Ms. Ferguson, thinking I was insistent on purchasing, had it removed.
This caused quite an uproar among
employees, who liked stopping in the hallway for a little swig of water
about 23 times a day. I missed it a little myself, and asked Ms. Ferguson
what she had in mind.
"I had no choice," she
replied. "They wouldn’t sell it to us. I had to purchase a
dispenser for hot and cold bottled water instead. It was only $150 versus
a rental of $16 a month. It’s coming tomorrow."
"I hate that bottled water
stuff," I said. "You have to use a cup every time, even if you
only want to wet your mouth. Then you have to find a garbage can to throw
the cup way. It’s awfully tedious."
"Do you want me to get the
drinking fountain back?" she asked.
I made an executive decision.
"Yes."
But it was too late. The next day
Ms. Ferguson showed me notes from employees thanking her for the bottled
water. "It tastes so much better than San Francisco tap water,"
wrote one. "I really enjoy my water breaks now," wrote another.
"Now what do we do?"
asked Ms. Ferguson. "And by the way, the water company called. They
made a mistake. It’s not $150 to buy the hot and cold dispenser, it’s
$250."
I was already mighty tired of
talking about water. "Fine. At least we own it instead of renting it.
I’ll just have to learn to live with the cups."
So it was agreed. That was on a
Friday. On Monday Ms. Ferguson wanted to talk water again.
"I couldn’t believe it,"
she gasped. "The weekend employees went through three bottles of
water at $8 each in only two days. That’s $24 worth of water. What do we
do now?"
If there’s one thing Ms.
Ferguson and I share in life, it’s frugality.
"That’s ridiculous,"
I cried. "Are they taking it home with them? Washing their hands in
it? What’s going on?"
Ms. Ferguson shrugged. "This
can’t go on. It would cost us almost $300 a month in water. Let’s get
rid of it. There’s nothing wrong with San Francisco tap water."
I agreed. A couple of hours later
Ms. Ferguson returned. She had found a company that would sell us a
drinking fountain for $550.
"How much to rent it?"
I asked.
"They don’t rent, only
sell. And you have to buy a maintenance contract so they’ll come and
change the filter every six months."
I sighed a powerful sigh. She
handed me a couple more notes from employees about how much they
appreciated drinking bottled water over that San Francisco sludge. Then I
started thinking about the $20 per month rental charge for the old
drinking fountain versus the $550 cost for the new one. Let’s see, in 28
months it would be paid for but you have to figure in depreciation,
maintenance, a present dollar value ratio.
My head was beginning to spin. A decision had to
be made. The employees clearly liked the bottled water, but it was
expensive. I liked the drinking fountain, but I grew up in San Francisco
and had acquired a taste.
"What should we do?"
Ms. Ferguson asked again.
This is a column about small
business and this was a classic small business decision. While larger
companies are deciding whether to dive into the blossoming Russian and
Vietnamese economies, I am deciding whether to go with bottled water with
cups or San Francisco tap water, taken straight. And to top it off, there
was that nagging question of rent versus purchase.
A decision had to be made. I
turned to Ms. Ferguson and announced that I had come to a conclusion.
"What is it?" she
asked, breathlessly.
"I’ve decided," I
said, my voice crackling with authority, "that I don’t care. You
make the decision."
Thus ended my part in the Great
Water War.
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