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IT'S THE MOST
WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR
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It's not even Christmas yet (for those of us who celebrate it)
but I'm already calling it the best Christmas ever.
Some might think it's my best Christmas ever because we can, at
least at the time of this writing, celebrate with our families again. While
that's a plus, it's not the reason.
No, the reason is that this year, for the first time in my
adult life, I have no Christmas responsibilities whatsoever. I've done
nothing so far, and will do nothing in the next three days. Christmas
nirvana.
I couldn't wait to tell my wife. She came home the other evening from
another shopping expedition, soaking wet from the rain, bags in hand. She
looked exasperated, so I decided to cheer her up by telling her it was my
best Christmas ever.
"I'm doing absolutely nothing this year," I proudly
said as I put the Warriors game on pause. "Aren't you happy for
me?"
The look she gave me wouldn't be considered appropriate for the
Christmas spirit. "If you didn't wrap presents like a gorilla,"
she replied, "at least you could have helped me do that."
Not a chance. I never did understand how everyone gets those
corners so neat. I think it has something to do with geometry, and that was
never my strong suit. Helping on wrapping was out.
So was shopping, for that matter. My wife, who has impeccable
taste, has always done the shopping for our family gifts. My only
responsibility was to come up with presents for my wife. Since I have zero
taste, that has always been a problem.
Not anymore. My crowning achievement as a Master Delegator was
to appoint my youngest daughter as gift buyer for her mother. This daughter
loves to shop, especially with other people's money, and has taste that
rivals her mother. Perfect solution.
With shopping and gift wrapping out of the way, that only
leaves buying and decorating the Christmas tree and helping with the
Christmas dinner. And this year, for the first time ever, I'm doing none of
the above. Best Christmas ever.
Some people love buying and decorating their trees. They'd spend an
hour or two at the Christmas tree lot picking out the perfect tree, or even
go to a Christmas tree farm and cut down their own. Then they'd bring it
home and decorate it to the hilt, Christmas music and holiday cheer
enveloping them.
Not me. I'd pick the first tree that didn't have half a side
missing, strap it to the car, and then lug it into the house. I'd stand it
up, and of course it would be ridiculously lopsided. Half an hour of
frustrating adjustments later and it was standing tall, ready for lights.
I hate putting lights on. With our tree near a window, you can't just
walk around it. That would be too easy. It's incredibly challenging to
reach around with the tangled strings of multi-colored lights, branches
prickling you. No one has ever appreciated the work that goes into creating
a beautifully lit Christmas tree.
I do. And that's why I profusely thanked my wife, daughter and
son-in-law for their expertise (they were briefly staying with us while
doing some work on their house) when I came home from a one-week trip to
find they had bought and decorated the tree without me. I feigned
indignation that they hadn't waited for me, but I was secretly delighted.
Best Christmas ever.
With Christmas morning only three days away, I've done nothing and
have nothing left to do. No shopping, no decorating, no miserable
assembly-required gifts to put together. I can wake up and wait for the
grandkids to come by and watch them gleefully open the presents that others
have bought for them.
"I don't know why people say this is a stressful time of
year," I said to my wife as I watched her lug some packages into her
wrapping area. "I love Christmas, especially this year."
She didn't respond, making me feel a little guilty about her
doing all the work and me doing absolutely nothing. "At least we don't
have to cook dinner this year," I added, noting that we were going to
my sister's house. "That's a big burden off of both of our
shoulders!"
Apparently, not everyone is going to call it their best
Christmas ever. At least not at that moment.
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